Never Know
by greymind
Summary: Last Chapter. Story features Cristina,Burke,all interns, & Bailey. Enjoy & thanx for the great reviews!Find more Bang fanfic & discussion at the More Than Coffee board by googling More Than Coffee Invision use an underscore before after Than
1. Chapter 1

**Introduction:**

_It's December 2008 in Seattle. The interns are now residents and Bailey is an attending. Dr. Webber still holds the position of Chief of the surgical department at Seattle Grace and Preston Burke and Derek Sheppard remain his top surgeons in their specialties. Addison Sheppard is still in Seattle with a private practice and admitting privileges at the hospital. Burke and Cristina live together in their same apartment. _

**Chapter 1**

_Surgical Gallery for OR #3 SGH_

Izzie and Meredith are sitting in the gallery watching Bailey, Burke and George in the OR below. Cristina was on-call last night and should have been in the gallery an hour ago. Things were slow at the hospital this morning so they were taking time out to observe. Now that they were residents they didn't spend as much time together at the hospital so they took advantage when they were able to watch a surgery together.

Izzie and Meredith stop talking as Cristina walks in "Hey"

Cristina gives a halfhearted smile making a beeline to the glass so that she could look down into the OR. She had been hoping she could talk to Meredith alone and forgotten that Izzie would be there. Cristina and Izzie had grown closer over the years, but Meredith was her best friend.

"They're just finishing up. We were going to grab some coffee." Meredith watches Cristina looking down into the OR and notices that she doesn't seem to be herself.

Izzie's looking up at the video monitor as she eats her apple "What took you so long anyway? We know it wasn't Burke because he's in surgery."

Cristina doesn't answer and Meredith takes a closer look at her. Cheerful is not a word that Meredith would use to describe Cristina in the mornings, especially after a night of on-call, but she was not usually like this either. Meredith is concerned "What's wrong? You look pale."

Cristina is still looking down into the OR "Nothing."

No sarcastic comment. Now Meredith is positive that there is a problem "Cristina?"

Meredith was right. Something was wrong but Cristina felt like she was choking on her words "The stick turned blue" Cristina's tone was flat and her voice was almost a whisper. Her back was to Meredith and Izzie so they couldn't see the tears welling up in her eyes as she spoke.

"What?" Meredith thinks she misunderstood.

Cristina turns around and sits in one of the chairs with a weird look on her face. She clears her throat "The stick. It turned blue."

Izzie's still looking at the screen not completely listening "What? What stick?" Cristina looks at Izzie annoyed. At this moment, she would have been happy if being annoyed was her only problem.

Meredith put it together "You're pregnant?"

Izzie looks at Cristina with wide eyes "Oh my god! I can't believe you just told us."

"Ignore her. Cristina, are you sure?" Meredith is trying to not react to Cristina's news.

"Yes I'm sure. The first time not sure, the second still not sure, the third time convinced myself it was a defective hospital test so I ran out and purchased the fourth test a little while ago which had the nerve to turn a pretty color too. Four sticks. Four colors. Yeah I'm sure." Cristina was surprised that she felt some relief having shared this confession with her friends. Since the second test, she could barely concentrate on anything other than what would happen when she told Burke. Luckily it had been a slow night.

A big grin grows on Izzie's face "So, uh, congratulations?"

"Congratulations! What a scam! Some old man sitting back making money off of all the women who are not happy the stick turned blue the first time so they have to try more times and buy more stupid tests." Cristina felt like she was about to blow. She couldn't stand the emotions brewing inside of her. How could she be pregnant? This was the question she'd asked herself over and over again all night. She was scared and scared wasn't comfortable so, as usual, she turned her fear into anger.

"You only bought one test."

Cristina jumps up and glares at Izzie "Whatever! I was talking about the women who don't work in hospitals!"

"Cristina stop yelling. People are going to hear you." Meredith is trying her best to keep Cristina calm and knows that the last thing she wants is for people in the hospital to know about her pregnancy. That is the worst possible thing that could happen at this moment. Cristina is teetering on the edge of losing control and Meredith understands that. She also understands that if Cristina loses control, regaining it will not be easy for her.

Izzie and Meredith are waiting, not sure what to do and Cristina is a bit calmer. Izzie gets up and starts to walk towards Cristina who is standing biting her lip looking out the window down into the OR at Burke.

"Look, this situation is bad enough without you thinking you're hugging me."

Heeding this advice, Izzie just keeps on moving past Cristina and leans against the wall. "You know you're going to have to get used to the hugging."

Cristina is fidgeting with her hair "Umm. Let me think about that. No."

"You're not going to have a choice. Everyone loves to hug a pregnant woman and rub her tummy."

Cristina sits down again and looks at Izzie disgusted "Did you really just say tummy? Do you think I need help puking right now."

Down in the OR Bailey sees that George is distracted by what is going on in the gallery "O'Malley if you'd like to be up there with them scrub out otherwise pay attention to what's going on with this man laying here with our hands in his chest."

"Yes, ma'am. Sorry ma'am." Judging from the way Cristina, Izzie and Meredith are acting in the gallery George is sure something's going on. Even after all this time, he hated when he wasn't in on what the three of them were doing. They were all friends but he had always been odd man out when just the girls got together and he hated that.

Cristina is sitting with her head between her legs. Meredith moves to a seat next to her "Does Burke know?"

She lifts her head up to reveal red eyes "No we thought that I had food poisoning. He was convinced the shrimp I ate out of the lunch cart on the pier was bad. I've been throwing up for the past 3 days."

"Have you even talked about having kids?"

"No Izzie in three years we've never talked about it." Cristina manages the slightest smile "We talked about someday. Burke likes to say that if he waits for me to decide he'll be in a rocking chair when someday rolls around."

"He's got a point." Cristina looks at Meredith "Okay, he had a point. When did you find out?"

"Last night. That's when I decided to take the test."

Izzie speaks quietly "Tests."

"Izzie!" Cristina is not amused.

"Sorry. You know Burke's going to want to get married."

"Okay, Izzie, you are not allowed to talk anymore." Meredith tries to refocus Cristina before she gets upset again "What are you going to do?"

Cristina's voice is very serious "I'm thinking about killing Burke. This is all his fault. But first, I think I'll take out Izzie." As she finishes her sentence, Cristina turns her head to glare at her fiend.

Izzie laughs "No really?"

"Oh I'm totally serious? Stop with the stupid comments." Izzie moves further away from Cristina so that she is leaning against the wall.

Down in the OR, Burke is surprised to hear his girlfriend's voice knowing she was not in the room "Dr. Bailey, why am I hearing Cristina's voice?"

"She's up in the gallery with Grey and Stevens. They must have turned the speaker on. They probably don't even realize it."

Burke chuckles "Now that could be dangerous."

Bailey just shakes her head "You're not kidding. The three of them don't seem to have any trouble finding trouble. "O'Malley can you turn the speaker off before your friends embarrass themselves. After three years, you'd think they'd know what buttons not to push in the gallery."

Izzie is laughing as she leans against the wall eating her apple.

Cristina is pacing again "Izzie I can't believe you're laughing. It's not funny."

"Sorry I laugh under stress. Can't help it. This is great news, though, really."

"Stop saying that. Mer, now do you see why I am serious about killing her."

In the OR, Bailey is getting annoyed "O'Malley, turn that speaker off!" Burke is trying not to laugh at Cristina's comments.

"Right away, Dr. Bailey" George is walking over to disable the speaker as Cristina continues her rant while looking down into the OR "Two doctors, one fallopian tube, condoms and a birth control pill. This is not supposed to be happening. How can I be pregnant?"

Shocked, Bailey drops her head saying "Too late! TURN IT OFF O'MALLEY!"

At that moment you could hear a pin drop in the OR as everyone turned to look at

Burke who is standing completely motionless or up at Cristina in the gallery.

"Cristina, you have to…" Meredith is trying to come up with a plan but is distracted by what is happening in the area below "Why is George running and why is everyone looking up here."

Cristina looks over at Izzie still leaning against the wall "Izzie!"

"What?" Izzie has no idea what she's done.

"You're leaning against the speaker. They just heard me say…" Cristina doesn't finish her sentence as she sees looks back down in the OR to see Burke looking up at her. There's no need to finish.

Izzie moves away from the wall "Cristina, I'm sorry. I didn't realize."

Cristina turns and leaves the room practically knocking over Alex as he comes in "Hey! What's wrong with her?"

Meredith grabs her books and runs out the gallery after her pushing Alex out of the way as she passed him "What the hell is going on around here?"

"Cristina and Burke are having a baby."

"Seriously?" is the only thing Alex can manage to say.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

OR 3 SGH

A few minutes pass without anyone saying a word. The OR is still, except for the rhythmic sounds of the equipment. Mr. Muller lies on the table waiting to be sutured, fortunately, not in any distress. O'Malley stands at his spot next to the speaker and Burke, well Burke is standing motionless, frozen by Cristina's words, staring at the spot in the gallery once occupied by Cristina. The rest of the surgical team exchange shocked looks with each other but, otherwise, do an excellent job of keeping their eyes off of Burke. The people in that room have too much respect for him to stare.

Bailey breaks the silence "Dr. Burke?"

He didn't answer. She couldn't imagine what was going through his mind. He just heard his girlfriend tell him, her friends and a surgical team that she was pregnant. To make matters worse, Cristina's voice gave absolutely no indication that she was happy or even okay with the news. Bailey recognized the emotions she heard in Cristina's voice. The fear, the disappointment, the guilt, the definite absence of excitement. She remembered those emotions well from her own pregnancy. It was terrible. The tremendous feeling of disappointment at the timing of it all and the guilt at feeling disappointed. How can something that's supposed to be so happy drive you so crazy?

Bailey wondered what Cristina would do. She was having a great year. Even Dr. Webber, with his reservations about her ability to overcome her crappy bedside manner, had to admit that she was well ahead of her peers. This year she surpassed the Chief's favorite, Meredith Grey, as his top candidate to receive Seattle Grace's fellowship at the end of their residency. Cristina had proven herself time and again, showing skill, dedication and, to everyone's surprise, an ability to adapt to her patients. Bailey did not envy the position Cristina was in and understood the choices that she would need to make.

Bailey takes the instrument from Burke's right hand "Dr. Burke are you okay?"

"We thought she had food poisoning." Burke for the first time looks away from the gallery and, not knowing where to look, he looked into Mr. Muller's chest.

He didn't know what to do. What to think. Cristina was pregnant. He was ready but he was not sure she was. He thought she could be but knew it did not fit into what she had planned for this year. She was in the process of applying for a special program that would take her to Harvard for 6 weeks this summer. It was a great opportunity and included the chance to get published. They'd discussed kids and marriage repeatedly over the past year without resolution. She wanted to finish her residency. He wanted to get married and have children. They were at a stalemate. She wouldn't commit to getting married. She was not convinced about babies. His faith in them had been tested more than once by her reluctance which he did not understand and she could not fully explain. During the toughest of these discussions, he'd wondered if their love was enough for him.

Hearing Bailey begin to speak he looks in her direction "Well Dr. Burke it seems to be a little more serious than that."

He smiles weakly "Yes," then pausing unsure of whether to ask his question out loud, "She sounded upset didn't she?"

This was a first for Bailey. In her career at Seattle Grace, Bailey had always known Burke to be a man of certainty. She had never seen him uncertain until now. It was time for him to leave the OR.

"Don't guess. Go talk to her."

Burke takes a deep breath beginning to recover from the shock of Cristina's revelation "Good idea. Um, Dr. Bailey can you finish up in here?"

"I'd be happy to sir."

"Thank you Dr. Bailey."

Bailey smiles reassuringly as he slowly walks away "Dr. Burke."

"Yes" Burke looks back slightly uncomfortable as he is aware that everyone in that OR knows about the baby. His baby. Their baby.

"You're going to be a great dad. Congratulations." Following Bailey's lead, the surgical team softly echoes her congratulatory words. A grin creeps onto Burke's face as he leaves the OR.

As soon as Burke's out of the room. Bailey clears her throat and assumes the tone of the Nazi "Now just so we are clear if anybody in this room speaks one word of what you heard about Dr. Yang and Dr. Burke I will see to it that your lives are miserable for the remainder of my time here at Seattle Grace. That baby is their business and their news to share. Understood?"

"Yes" is immediately repeated throughout the room.

Bailey, satisfied with the response, continues "Good, now let's get back to the business of closing up Mr. Muller. He's been patient enough. Um, O'Malley, are you waiting for an invitation to come back to this table?"

"Uh, no, ma,am. Of course not." George, still standing by the speaker, quickly starts making his way back over to the operating table "Wow! Cristina pregnant. Unbelievable!"

Bailey is annoyed "O'Malley! Are you deaf or stupid?"

George looks at Bailey remembering her warning "Right, sorry. Not one word. Lips sealed. Mouth shut."

"Shut up O'Malley!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_4th Floor SGH_

As Meredith leaves the stairwell to enter the 4th floor, she runs into Cristina pacing in the hallway. Cristina keeps pacing and Meredith is reluctant to speak trying to choose her words carefully. Anyone who knows Cristina knows that she prides herself on not talking about problems she considers to be private and that, although she opened up once today, she could play the privacy card anytime now. Cristina stands in front of Meredith and starts to say something, then resumes her pacing.

Meredith takes a breath and is about to speak when Cristina is in front of her again talking in a hushed, panicked voice "It is one thing for my friends to know, for Burke to know. But for the whole surgical department. No, wait why am I kidding myself?" Cristina closes her eyes throwing her head back against the wall and lets out a nervous laugh "For the whole hospital to know, that's totally different."

Cristina is now scanning the halls of the hospital, her voice getting louder "In a matter of hours, days I will go from being known in this hospital as Dr. Yang to being that pregnant resident knocked up by her attending. I have worked too hard. This is a nightmare!"

Meredith has no idea what to tell Cristina right now that will help her to feel better. One thing she knows, though, is that having this conversation in the hallway is not helping and pulls Cristina into an empty patient room closing the door behind them.

For a moment, the panic in Cristina's voice is replaced with curiosity as she sees the bed without any linens "Did Mrs. Jefferson die?"

"Cat scan. Cristina, you have to stop panicking."

Cristina is looking at the rain outside trying hard to maintain what is left of her control. Usually, Burke was the only person who freaked her out like this but clearly his baby has the same ability. Amazing.

"Meredith, you go from a surgeon to a human microwave in the blink of an eye, and in a weird twist of fate, accidentally share that news with the surgical team your boyfriend's on then you can talk to me about not panicking."

Cristina was right about her situation. Meredith could think of nothing to refute any of what Cristina had said. Her words were true. To a female resident, pregnancy is a fate worse than death. Cristina is bright, driven and this changes everything. It changes the way other surgeons look at you and quickly eliminates opportunities. It becomes a race to prove you haven't lost a step. A race where victory lies in someone else's skewed perception. They had all seen what Bailey went through with the Chief when she came back to work after giving birth. She had an excellent reputation but when she came back as a mom she had to prove herself all over again everyday and that has not ended. The pregnancy is one thing but being a mommy is forever and that's how female surgeons with babies are perceived. Moms first, surgeons second and no passes are given for moms because their kids are sick or daycare falls through or they are up half the night after being on-call. Those are strikes and after all of the hard work it takes to get this far nobody wants any extra strikes.

"Okay, what do you need me to do?"

Cristina turns away from the window and walks over to Meredith so she is standing directly in front of her "Run interference with Burke."

Meredith can see that Cristina is serious and shakes her head "That is a bad idea. You have to talk to Burke."

"I think Burke's heard me say too much already this morning."

"Cristina!"

Cristina, exhausted, lies on the bed staring up at the ceiling "I am going to talk to him. I just need a little time to think. I need to have a plan before I talk to him and I haven't had enough time to think. Burke and I will have plenty of time to talk." Cristina sits up with a pouty expression "We're going to have to find some place else to live. I'm going to have to give up my motorcycle. I love my motorcycle. How is this even happening?"

They were both silent. Meredith leans against the wall watching Cristina on the bed and she smiles as she understands that this is Cristina's way of saying she's okay with her pregnancy.

She walks over and sits next to her "This is good. You'll be okay."

"You don't know that. I don't know how to be a mom."

"Nobody knows. Not really. They just lie. You're a good liar." Meredith smiles in an attempt to be encouraging.

"I can lie." Cristina appreciated having Meredith as a friend just for comments like that. She understood her as well as anybody. If anyone else had found her in the hallway, there would have been a conversation about whether Cristina was thinking of not having the baby. Cristina knew that Meredith understood that even though she was freaking out those questions didn't need to be asked.

Barely turning her head to look at Cristina, Meredith asks "So, I'm the godmother, right? I mean I'm still your person after Burke."

Cristina wrinkles her forehead throwing herself back onto the bed laughing "Mer, you think maybe we could talk about that later?"

"Sorry" Meredith turns her head to look back towards the window.

Cristina rolls her eyes "Fine. Yes, I'm sure Burke will make this kid have a godsomething or other. More importantly, I am going to need a sane person to help me handle super happy Burke and all those tummy rubbing people. Can you imagine? Just don't make a big deal out of it, okay! I have a feeling too many people are going to be

making big deals out of things right now!"

Meredith is grinning "Agreed"

"People act stupid around babies. I hate stupid people."

"Mrs. Jefferson's going to be back soon."

"Right. That's good that she's not dead." Cristina smiles inappropriately.

Meredith looks at her and stands up "Yes I'm sure Mrs. Jefferson would agree with you. If you want to avoid Preston we should probably get moving. I'm sure that the shock is wearing off of him and he's looking for you."

Cristina gets up off of the bed "I still don't understand why you have to call him that? You don't call Bailey Miranda?" Cristina's leaning against the wall.

Meredith rolls her eyes "That's his name Cristina and last time I checked you weren't dating Bailey. Now do you what my help or not?"

"Yes!"

Meredith opens the door and looks out to see if Burke is in the hallway "Okay, it's all clear. Avoid the stairs. Good luck!"

As Meredith watches Cristina get on the elevator, she smiles thinking how unpredictable Cristina is normally and what a crazy year this is going to be for all of them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 **

_**Surgical Board **_

As Burke enters the 5th floor stairwell, his mind is racing. It's been almost half an hour and he still couldn't find Cristina. He couldn't find any of her friends either. She was good at avoiding him when she wanted to, and, he knew that if Cristina was hiding from him it would be hard to find her but he was determined. He did not have surgery until noon and he was not going to stop searching until he laid eyes on her or at least one of her friends who could tell convince him that she was really okay. As he reaches the bottom of the stairs, Burke mindlessly stops to look at the surgical board. Cristina's name is not up there today. He's sure that he had seen it this morning but now it's gone. Standing there, he's struck by the irony as he remembers the first time that she was pregnant. After she collapsed in the OR, he had found out about the pregnancy and the miscarriage at the same moment from this surgical board. The memories of the helplessness of that day flooded his mind. This board set the pace for his life everyday and, on that day, this board had told him what he wanted, needed and lost all at the same time. Taking one last look, Burke walks away to continue his mission.

**_4th Floor Nurse's Station_**

Meredith sits at the nurse's station staring out at the activity on the floor. After failing in her search for Burke, she set up camp hoping he'd find herRemembering the stunned look on his face in the OR after hearing about the pregnancy, she couldn't imagine what he must be feeling right now. She couldn't help but think how different this was from Cristina's last pregnancy. Her thoughts were interrupted when shesaw Burke come around the corner still wearing his scrub cap. He saw her immediately and she noticed his pace quicken. As he strode down the hall, hands on hips, it was clear that he had replaced his earlier shock with pure determination. This is exactly why Cristina's plan to stall Burke was a lousy idea.

"Grey where is she?" The halls are crowded and it surprises Meredith when Burke begins their conversation while he is still several feet away from the desk.

"Who?" As soon as the word left her mouth, she couldn't believe that "who" was the best answer she could come up. Why was she such a bad liar?

Burke's flashes a frustrated smile "You're joking, right? Grey, I do not have time for this." Dr. Meredith Grey was always able to step up to meet the pressure when it came to her patients but Burke knew all too well that that was not always the case when she was suspected of lying.

"Oh, Cristina. You mean Cristina. Of course, sorry about that." Meredith, recognizing that Burke is in full interrogation mode, searches her brain for an intelligent explanation to use as a stall tactic while silently cursing Cristina for getting her to agree to this plan.

"Yes my girlfriend. Now that we've cleared that up, where is she?"

"Right," Meredith continues, an apologetic expression firmly planted on her face, "I'm not sure." then quickly begins writing in the chart she had strategically placed in front of her.

Inhaling deeply, Burke walks to the other side of the desk and wheels a chair over to Meredith so that there is barely any separation between the two of them.

"Dr. Grey, you expect me to believe that you have absolutely no idea where she went?"

Without looking up, she gathers her confidence "Yes that's exactly what I expect you to believe especially because it is true. I have no idea where she went."

An irritated Burke just stares at Meredith trying to figure out his next step. He had to give Cristina credit. As hard as it was for her to have close relationships, the friendships she did develop were solid. Of course, at times like these, he found her friends to be frustrating but they were loyal and he appreciated that they looked out for her.

Meredith didn't need to look up to know that her answer did not satisfy Burke and that he was waiting to hear something better "Last time she went to Joe's."

That wasn't it. Burke lowers his voice to give the illusion of control "It's 10:00 in the morning. I would hope she's not at the bar. Anyway, she can't drink she's pregnant."

Pregnant. It was the first time Burke said the word out loud and he stunned himself a bit.

"Oh, you're probably right."

Preston Burke cannot stand it any longer. He needs answers. Reaching over, he removes the pen from Meredith's hand then slides the chart so that it is out of her reach. Resigned to the awkwardness of her situation, Meredith, reluctantly, turns to see a very intense Burke bent over with elbows propped on knees, hands clasped. She can see that his thumbs are pressing into his chin and he's squinting his eye like she's seen him do during times of complete frustration.

Burke no longer cares about appearances and is making no effort to hide his indignation "Game's over Grey. I'm sure that Cristina asked you to stall for her but it's important that I find her. I need to find her."

"If you just wait a little while she'll find you."

"That's a great theory, except that with Cristina, who knows how long that could be." Burke's point was valid and Meredith knew it. She was torn and thankful that she really did not know where Cristina was.

Burke continues to try to get information. He's convinced that Meredith can help him "How long has she known about the baby?"

"You shouldn't be having this conversation with me."

Burke throws his hands up in frustration "I wouldn't need to if I could find Cristina." The normally calm attending was frustrated but, more importantly, he was scared. Scared that Cristina had known about the pregnancy for weeks and kept it to herself. Scared that this was just going to be yet another struggle for them and even more scared that she wouldn't want the baby at all. His baby. Their baby.

Unable to avert her eyes from the pained look on Burke's face, Meredith contemplates whether to go down this road with him. She's uneasy because she's not convinced that it's her place to speak for Cristina but knows it could help him "Today."

"Seriously. Today?" The surprise in his voice was unmistakable.

A little more confident that her confession is a good thing, she continues "She took the tests while she was on-call."

"And she already told you?"

"Yes. That's what I mean. You won't have to wait very long."

Burke looks away from Meredith at nothing in particular as he tries to process what he's hearing. Cristina must be handling the pregnancy okay if she told people so quickly. Those people were Grey and Stevens but, still, Cristina did not reveal anything until she was good and ready to deal with it. This is a good thing.

Meredith finishes his thought out loud for him "Very unlike Cristina, right? I guess she's a little more okay with being pregnant this time."

For the first time during their conversation, Meredith can see happiness on Burke's face "Yes, it seems that she is."

Meredith returns his smile "Oh there is one thing. You should know that she plans on killing you."

All Burke can do is laugh as his mind quickly plays a video of what that conversation must have been like "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

After a few minutes, she notices Burke looking dazed as he's leaning back in the chair "Are you okay?"

"So do you think Cristina might be willing to consider marriage now?"

Choking on her coffee, Meredith immediately remembers how proposals one and two crashed and burned. As usual Burke had been persistent but Cristina's stubbornness had been stronger. Twice. The first time wasn't so bad. They had been together 18 months and when Burke proposed Cristina said that she wasn't ready. He handled this pretty well. Unfortunately, Cristina had the same answer the second time around and Burke did not have such an easy time accepting this one. Cristina liked to refer to it as the bullet she dodged because it was the one time in their relationship that she believed Burke would actually walk away.

Meredith does her best to be diplomatic "Uh you might not want to go there just yet. Give her some time to get used to the baby first."

"Right. So you really don't know where she is?"

"I honestly don't know but if I see her I will tell her you're looking for her."

"Somehow I think she knows that already." Satisfied that Meredith doesn't know where Cristina is Burke returns her chart

"Right."

"Aren't you worried about her?"

"No." Meredith pauses smiling at Burke's concern "I'm sure that the three of you will be just fine."

The stunned look returns to Burke's face as he repeats Meredith's words "The three of us."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_SGH Basement_

Bailey walks down the dim corridor of the basement looking for Cristina. She knew Cristina was avoiding Burke. After all this time, everyone in their department knew that this was how Cristina Yang coped with problems with Preston Burke. Normally, Bailey would not waste the time looking for somebody having a personal problem. There were plenty of those people around without going out of your way to look for one. Two reasons made today different. First, she had taken Cristina under her wing becoming somewhat of a mentor to her, and, second, she recognized the potential for this day to turn into a circus and a circus meant that people would not be getting their work done. That is what brought Miranda Bailey to her interns' hideout today. They may be someone else's residents but they would always be her interns. They were a tight knit group. Part of her was envious of the camaraderie that they shared. It was something that she'd never had as an intern. Bailey walks over and sits on the empty hospital bed.

Bailey's voice breaks through the quiet of the basement "You know, one day he's going to find you down here."

Cristina is sitting against the wall in a wheelchair. She purposely sat around the corner so that nobody would see her. Their first day of internship, the five of them had claimed this space cluttered with old beds and vending machines as their own. Too many times to count, Bailey had sent them running after catching them down here when they should have been with patients. Three years later, as residents, they were still drawn to this place when they were having a rough day. It was their clubhouse. Why did Bailey have to come looking for her today of all days?

Cristina's tired voice comes out of the darkness "Only if someone tells him where here is."

"The man's not stupid. I know where here is. He's eventually going to find you."

Cristina answers, fighting a losing battle to maintain a sarcastic edge to her voice "It's been three years, I think I might be safe. Anyway, that's the thing about eventually. Nobody really knows when it's going to happen. It's like someday. You think it's years down the road and next thing you know it's happening today."

"Keep on being a smart ass Yang. We'll see how clever you are when you can't see your feet." Bailey enjoyed giving Cristina grief for her attitude but a bitter wit was one of the many traits that the two women shared.

"Uh, don't remind me." The pregnant resident had spent the better part of the morning picturing all of it. The sickness, the pregnancy, the work restrictions, the fights with Burke over the work restrictions. In that moment, she remembers watching Bailey expand during her pregnancy until she started to waddle and couldn't work anymore.

The two of them stayed silent in the shadows of the basement. That's why the interns liked it down there. With its bad lighting, it was a place where you could confess and hide all at the same time.

"How do you know?" Cristina's voice is light like a curious child's.

"Stevens took care of that. Everybody knows."

"No, how do you know that I'm having the baby?"

Cristina's question catches Bailey off guard "You're not that intern anymore."

Cristina looks at her mentor and their eyes connect for the first time. Even in the dim light, Bailey can see the fatigue and worry etched on Cristina's face.

"Cristina, you know you can do this and I know you can do it. You do know that right?"

"Yes. I think so." It was the first time Cristina had said to anyone that she could handle this. She hoped she was right. Hoped this was right.

"You know, you could make this simple and go find him." Bailey waits for a response, knowing that this is not going to be an easy thing to convince Cristina to do.

"Why would I do that? We'll talk later." Cristina was not being difficult. Her head hurt, her stomach hurt. She felt badly for avoiding Burke but she wasn't ready to talk She was beginning to wonder what "ready" meant anyway. After several hours, she still didn't know what she was going to say to him. Her head was spinning.

Cristina's matter of fact, less than logical perspective on emotional issues never failed to test the limits of Bailey's patience "Cristina, the man just found out that you've been having morning sickness instead of food poisoning and you weren't exactly jumping for joy up in that gallery."

The strain is now undeniable in Cristina's voice "Burke's fine. I'm sure he's excited."

Bailey's response is delayed by Cristina's chirping pager, and seeing that Cristina is ignoring it, she becomes even more exasperated.

"You going to see who that is?"

"I know who it is. It's the same person who's paged me three times already." A cranky Cristina rolls her eyes as she looks at her pager to pacify Bailey. "Satisfied?" Cristina knows she is pushing her luck with Bailey.

"Dr. Yang we do not ignore pages."

"I don't think it counts if it's from the guy that knocked you up."

Bailey's voice is getting louder by the word "Everything counts around here. You know that."

Cristina does not respond.

Bailey understands that Cristina is overwhelmed with thoughts of having to adjust everything in her life including giving up her summer fellowship, and, she is doing her best to be empathetic but like Cristina that is not her strong suit. "Look, I know you were not prepared for this but Preston Burke is a good man and you don't get to act like an ass. You need to help each other. I mean one fallopian tube and contraception, this baby really wants to be born."

"Give me a break. This baby barely has a brain."

Cristina was tough but Bailey didn't earn the title the Nazi by being soft and she always recognized when one of rosemary's babies needed a kick in the pants. She hops off of the stretcher andmarches over to Cristina "Right now it doesn't seem like his mom has much of one either. You're done for the day Dr. Yang!"

"What?"

An aggravated Cristina tries to stand up but can't. Bailey is already in front of her forcing Cristina to lean back uncomfortably in the wheelchair as Bailey looks down at her "Is there some word I used in that sentence that your fancy education didn't teach you?"

"No, of course not. But why?" For Cristina being sent home was the worst punishment she could receive which is exactly why Bailey chose it.

Bailey leans with both hands on Cristina's wheelchair yelling in a low voice "You may not be an intern anymore but I am still your boss and I don't need a reason. I will see you tomorrow."

Cristina starts to speak.

"Do not even think about arguing with me and don't think you're just going to lurk around here all day with your baby drama distracting everybody. You're already the hottest gossip in the hospital."

Cristina looks insulted as Bailey walks away but Bailey isn't finished. The attending turns around with a smile on her face.

"Burke's scheduled in the OR in 90 minutes. You better get moving if you're gonna fix this unless you want to be responsible for him killing some poor innocent patient. Fix it Yang!"

Cristina is left sitting in the wheelchair speechless and a bit amazed, as always, that Bailey was still so good at kicking her butt.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

A/N If you like this story, there are other Cristina/Burke aka Bang stories posted on the message board **More Than Coffee**. It is a site where fans of the couple can go to discuss their characters, SO & IW, and the show as well as post fanfic/poetry/videos that focus on those characters. It's a fun and interesting board with members from all over the world. There is always a lot of activity on the site. Whether you're interested in posting or lurking, check it out by googling **More Than Coffee Invision.**

_**Lobby Area SGH**_

George, Izzie and Meredith look over the pastry cart feigning interest in food when all they were really interested in was finding out what was happening with Cristina and Burke. None of them had seen Cristina for a couple of hours and the suspense was killing them.

Not satisfied with just coffee, Izzie scans the cart "There are never any good donuts here. Seriously, it's a pastry cart. Why are there never any good donuts?"

George offers her his pretzels "Can you imagine how cute their kid is going to be?"

"Cute and stubborn." Meredith laughs at the thought of a child possessing the very strong personality traits of both Cristina and Burke "Are people talking about it?"

George answers with a mouthful of pretzels "Only us. Bailey put a lid on it."

Izzie's now checking out the vending machine "Seriously?"

George leans against the vending machine and continues "She told everyone in the OR that they'd better keep the news to themselves for the rest of the day or else she'd make life miserable for them."

Meredith is the first to see an aggravated Cristina come up the stairs and recognizes that it's a bad sign she is carrying her bag and no longer dressed in her scrubs "What happened?"

"Bailey's making me go home. She's punishing me."

The surgeons exchange glances. Cristina was known for blowing certain things out of proportion. These things usually had to do with Burke and were followed by Cristina ranting about being punished, treated unfairly or breaking up.

Meredith is skeptical "Bailey's punishing you?"

George too was suspicious "For what?"

"Avoiding Burke" Cristina ignores the skepticism in her friends' voices. She could care less whether they believe her or not. She knows that she's right and that's all that matters at this moment.

Meredith tries to stifle her laughter "Seriously?"

Cristina is now indignant "Seriously. I haven't talked to Burke and she's punishing me. She said I have baby drama." Izzie, George and Meredith can't help but laugh as a steaming Cristina continues "I do not have any baby drama. I am a surgeon. Surgeon's do not have baby drama."

Izzie, still laughing, tries to help "Bailey's right. Until you talk to Burke you do have baby drama."

Cristina is not amused "You don't get to laugh. This would not even be an issue right now if you hadn't hit the speaker this morning."

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"Anyway, I am having a baby not drama. Everything is under control." Earlier, Cristina decided to call Burke on her way home to say she was okay and that they'd talk after work. She didn't have drama, she had a plan.

George stops laughing and addresses Cristina in a very serious voice "This from the person who's been avoiding her baby's daddy for the past 2 hours."

Izzie and Meredith burst into laughter again knowing that only George could get away with saying something like that to Cristina.

Cristina glares at him. Today she is not in the mood. "Okay, you want to talk about drama? You really want to go down that road Syph Boy?"

Hurt, George retreats back to his bag of pretzels "That was uncalled for."

Cristina isn't concerned about George's feelings right now. She has damage control on her mind "How did people in the OR react?"

"Shocked. Half of them can't believe that you and Burke are even still together." George's answer isn't a surprise to Cristina. She was sure their relationship wouldn't last six months and, here they were, still together three years later and, apparently, parents.

With the slightest hint of worry in her voice, Cristina turns her attention to Meredith "What did he say?"

Meredith smiles knowing that underneath all of the sarcasm Cristina is a nervous girlfriend who worries about hurting or disappointing the man she loves. She doesn't show that layer often but when it appears it is something to see "He's worried about you. He's excited. It's cute. You should find him."

All too familiar with Cristina's stubborn streak, George attempts to encourage her to find Burke. "It's 1100 and he's scheduled for surgery at noon. You need to talk to him before then."

Cristina is calmer but unconvinced "It's a big hospital, it's not like I can just run into him."

Izzie breaks her silence "Call me crazy but"

Cristina's lips form a devilish grin as she takes advantage of this opportunity "Crazy!"

Rolling her eyes, Izzie finishes "but that's why surgeons carry pagers."

Meredith tries to be the voice of reason "You can't avoid him all day"

Cristina's wearing down but still defensive "I didn't realize that it was my friends' responsibility to worry so much about my boyfriend."

"We're his friends too" She was all too aware of this fact without George saying it out loud. It was something that had bothered her for most of their relationship. Burke being friends with her friends.

Meredith grins "Anyway all you need to do to find Burke is turn around." With that Cristina turns around to see Burke standing at the top of the stairs grinning.

When she turns back around Izzie, Meredith and George are already walking away "I really need to find new friends."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_Outside of SGH_

Cristina and Burke are sitting on a bench near the hospital parking lot. They'd argued briefly on the landing of the stairs as they tried to decide where to talk. Cristina, still not interested in the baby discussion, argued that she needed to leave the hospital because Bailey had sent her home. Burke didn't bother to fight with her. Having spent the better part of the morning searching the hospital for Cristina, he just wanted to talk and did not care where. It wasn't as though they needed to speak in a private area after what happened earlier in the gallery. He was uneasy, though, because today he could not read her eyes. Today, they had a look that he'd never seen before. The two of them had walked out of the hospital in awkward silence. Cristina dreaded any kind of talk like the one they were about to have and, although she had no intention of apologizing for it, she was not exactly proud of her behavior this morning.

"Don't you have surgery soon?" Holding her bag on her lap like a security blanket, she figures there's no harm in trying one last delay tactic.

Deep down Burke loved that she was as stubborn as she was beautiful but sometimes it drove him crazy "It's been bumped back an hour. That gives us plenty of time."

Cristina could feel his energy as he tried to remain calm. Burke was good at being calm.

Cristina thought about the first time she was pregnant. This was so different. Then, she'd had so much time to think and keep it to herself. Too much time. She had been so mad that she had gotten pregnant as an intern but, as time passed, a part of her mourned the baby she had lost. The baby they had lost. At least Burke knows this time. He hadn't had any idea before and, by the time he found out, their baby was gone. That baby is what opened the door for them to have this life together and she'd always wondered how things would have worked out if it was she had been the one to end the pregnancy. Would he have been so calm? Would they be together now?

"What are you thinking about all this?" Burke cringes at the awkwardness of his words. This shouldn't be awkward. They are in love. They are committed to each other. Committed to living a life together. This shouldn't be awkward?

"I'm thinking a lot of things." Cristina wrinkles her forehead as she stares at the grass in front of her.

Burke tries to lighten up the situation "I hear you want to kill me."

Cristina sits on the bench nervously loosening her hair clip but doesn't crack a smile "Meredith has a big mouth."

After a few minutes Cristina speaks again "I'm sorry you found out like this."

Burke grins appreciating her apology but is caught off guard when she continues to speak.

"I can't believe I'm pregnant." Cristina could not believe those five words came out of her mouth and turns her body towards Burke to see his reaction.

"Well, it is unexpected but I'm excited. I couldn't be happier." His voice is gentle and reassuring.

Cristina feels herself getting angry even though she knows she should be happy "Of course you are! You're a man and the man is not the one who's going to have to carry a bowling ball for almost a year and take a leave of absence from the hospital! So of course you're excited!"

He looks at Cristina but does not respond immediately. He is happy. Happy that he knows about the baby. Happy that they have a second chance to be parents. He had long ago allowed his mind to picture what their kids would look like and what kind of parents they would be. What kind of mom Cristina would be. He would watch her in bed and smile just thinking about this. Thinking how great it would be. How happy they would be. He had not imagined it quite the way it was happening now.

"No, but I am the man who will be raising this child its whole life. Getting up at night, feedings, changing diapers, wiping tears, worrying. That counts you know. You're not being fair." He will not just sit quietly while she bashes him for things he has not even done.

At this point, Cristina's given up on trying to maintain what's left of her composure. She abandons the bench and begins pacing while she yells at Burke "Fair! Don't talk to me about fair! Life is not fair!"

Burke is stunned at how angry she is and immediately stands up, his tall frame dwarfing her petite body. Firmly, he grabs both of her arms forcing her to stand still and focus on him "Cristina why are you yelling? Calm down."

She lowers her voice slightly but her speech is still pressured as she looks up at him revealing tears in her eyes "Medically this shouldn't have even been possible, we used protection and I have one fallopian tube. Do you remember that? One fallopian tube!"

Burke cannot hide his hurt at being the target of her anger and releases her before stepping away "Of course I remember." He understands that she is upset by the timing of the pregnancy but cannot understand her need to lash out. He had thought that she would be happy once the initial shock was over. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe she really isn't ready to be a mom and that's the discussion they were going to be having instead of one about baby furniture and names. Maybe he's been fooling himself for the past three years.

"I was not even thinking that this was a possibility anymore." She pauses realizing that she has hurt Burke's feelings with her yelling and that the happiness she had seen on his face earlier is now disappointment. Damn him! She knew he'd be happy she just wasn't ready to have this conversation which was why she'd been avoiding him. "Honey...I'm just upset." How is she going to fix this now? Exhausted by her tirade and her lack of sleep, she sits down putting her head in her hands.

Burke never knew that she didn't think she would be able to have kids very easily. Medically he knew the statistics of conceiving with one fallopian tube and they had discussed the idea of having children but they never talked about how long it would take them to get pregnant "So what do you want to do?"

"What do you mean do?" Cristina lifts her head and stares blankly at him. She did not understand this question. "We're having a baby. What's there to do?"

This time, the confusion in her voice fills him with relief. Cristina did want to have this baby and to her there were no other choices. He cannot suppress his joy any longer and a huge grin spreads over his face. They are having a baby "Nothing to do but be thankful. It's a blessing, a miracle even."

"Do you mind if we don't talk about religion right now and stop looking at me all goofy like we're having a baby." Cristina is reaching her emotional limit.

Burke sits down close to his girlfriend confidently curling his arm around her sure that things were okay now. She melts into him. They are a perfect fit. A perfect match.

"But we are having a baby."

Cristina is too exhausted and freaked out to have such a sentimental moment "You know what? I have been up all night and that's because this blessing made me puke every hour for 10 hours." She looks up at him "Why can't you just have normal sperm? Why does yours always have to cause so much trouble?"

Burke's just smiling at her. Never in his life has he experienced the joy he is feeling at this moment at the thought of Cristina carrying their child. It's amazing. The only thing stopping him from giving into his urge to rest his hand on Cristina's stomach is that it would irritate her right now but he plans on taking advantage the first chance he gets.

"Are you going to smile like this through the whole pregnancy?"

"Maybe. At least we don't have to figure out how we'll tell people at work that we're having a baby."

"Somehow that does not make me feel better right now. We still have to tell our parents. My mom's going to have a field day." Cristina leans her head on Burke's shoulder and he instinctively pulls her a little closer. It is unusual for them to do this at the hospital but today is an unusual day. She reaches for his right hand and wraps it in hers "Burke, I'm scared."

For the first time, Burke sees what is really going on. It's not about the timing, it's not about the hospital or Harvard, it's not about wanting the baby. It's that she doesn't believe she can do it. Cristina doesn't believe that she can be a good mom. How did he miss that? Was he so focused on why she was avoiding him that he hadn't even thought that she might be scared? Cristina's strength was logic but her biggest challenge was managing her own fear. He'd assumed that she was approaching the pregnancy intellectually when really she was feeling it. She was feeling the fear of it. Burke knew that Cristina's initial reaction to fear was always to run until she can come up with a plan. Her fear masquerades as anger and indecision never logic. That's what he couldn't see in her eyes. Cristina did not have much respect or affection for her mother. She had a fair relationship with her stepfather and never really knew her biological father. This left her with a very skewed perspective of what good parenting looked like. "I think it's a good thing that you're scared."

She tilts her head back looking up at him confused.

He's looking into her eyes with that look. That look that she always felt saw straight into her soul. "It's okay to be scared. We can do this. It's our baby. You're nervous to be a mom, well, I'm nervous to be a dad. We will do it together. You've got plenty of love in you to give this baby. You are a good person Cristina. Stubborn, pigheaded, messy but good and I love you. Things will be okay."

"What if I mess this kid up? Don't love him enough or love him too much. I mean people don't mean to be bad parents. They just turn out that way."

He kisses her forehead. Cristina was scared of being someone's mom and not being good enough at it. Burke has none of those doubts. No doubts that she can do this and do it well. He had had always seen the love she was capable of giving long before she had seen it in herself "We'll be good parents. Things will be okay."

"You already said that." She felt so safe in his arms. She wanted to believe everything that he said. He had never lied to her not even once.

"I said it twice because it's true." He leans over and presses his lips against her giving her a gentle kiss. "It's getting late. I have to get to the OR and you should go home and get some sleep." He stands up and puts his hand out for her "I'll walk you."

The two of them make the short walk across the parking lot. His arm tightly wrapped around her shoulder and hers around his waist while still holding hands.

Cristina is feeling better thanks to Burke's reassurance but still not quite convinced that this motherhood thing is going to work out "So, I guess we have no choice but to do what we're supposed to do. Feed it, cloth it, and yell at it until it hates us then send it out into the world to create mayhem and procreate."

Burke laughs "You know that you are crazy, right?"

Cristina's trying to sound upset but unable to hide her smile "You know that you've completely ruined me, right? This is not the person I am supposed to be."

Burke stops walking and looks at her "But I'm so glad it's the person that you are."

Today Cristina is happy to let Burke win with that argument. She's content just to let him love her. As they get to her motorcycle, she notices that he parked his car right next to hers this morning.

"Um, there's just one more thing Cristina."

"What?"

"You don't plan on riding that thing home do you?" Burke knows that he's pushing his luck but he feels strongly that she should not be riding the motorcycle now that she's pregnant.

"Actually I do." Cristina expected to have this argument. Burke never liked her riding the motorcycle to begin with and tried to get her to sell it more than once.

Burke raises an eyebrow at her.

"See you're already starting."

Burke's doing a bad job of acting innocent "Starting what?"

"Being all crazy and protective. I ride a motorcycle. That doesn't change just because I'm pregnant." Cristina's determined to give a good fight in spite of knowing she will not win this battle.

Burke moves closer to her grabbing her waist "Humor me. Look just for a couple of days. Take my car home."

She hooks her arms around his neck and cocks her head as she often did when she was flirting with him "How are you going to get home?"

"You can come back for me."

"Oh I see. I can't drive my bike but I can be your taxi."

Burke flashes her a sexy smile

Cristina tries to maneuver herself away from Burke so that she can open the car door "This is not settled."

"I know" He pulls her back in for a kiss goodbye "I love you."

"I love you too." Over the years, Cristina had become more comfortable saying I love you. She still didn't say it as much as him but she didn't need to. He knew she loved him.

Burke lets her go and opens the car door. After Cristina starts the car, she rolls down the window and Burke leans in "We could think about getting married."

She shakes her handing knowing that proposal number three is on the way "You're hopeless."

He grins as he watches Cristina drive away. He's lost in thoughts about how cute Cristina will look with a pregnant belly, how they'd need to get a house and a roomier car but mostly about how great it was going to be to be a dad.


End file.
